Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Would you be upset if someone you used to date said this to you (esp. men)?

I used to date a guy who, even after we broke up (it was mutual) still wanted to get back together. He had asked me to marry him a couple of times, but I said no. I didn't want to get back together with him, but we remained friends for a long time afterwards. We would still talk on the phone to each other and sometimes message over facebook; we couldn't get together in person because we live in different states. We kept talking to each other for quite a while after our breakup, then one day over the phone he asks me why I won't get back together with him. I tell him the truth, giving him the reasons it won't work. We live in different states, we are heading in different directions in life, etc, and I also mention that we are sexually incompatible, which is the truth.

He had asked me all this before and I had always told him this, except about the sexual issues, and it was shortly after this conversation that he stopped talking to me. I wasn't mean to him when I said it, I told him as nice as possible.

When we were together, I never told him how unsatisfied I was, but I think he might have known.

After our phone conversation, I tried calling him a couple of times but he hasn't picked up or talked to me over facebook, but he still made it a point to wish me a happy birthday a couple of months ago, which is quite a long time after he stopped talking to me.

I talked to a mutual friend a couple of weeks ago who told me that my ex is in an on-again off-again relationship. I knew about this relationship and figured his new girlfriend might get angry if he still talked to me. But our mutual friend says my ex still talks to people over the phone and chats over the internet with people like he always has and sounded surprised that my ex has stopped talking to me.

I'm confused. Was my statement, "We're not sexually compatible" really that horrible?

Answer on Would you be upset if someone you used to date said this to you (esp. men)?

No, I wouldnt say it was horrible, but to be honest, who like to hear that?

I beleive he has realzied that maybe there really isnt any hope for you guys to have a relationship anymore, and he has moved on. Sometimes people dont want to be "Friends" after a relationship ends, and for various reasons as well.

I tihnk you should just forget about it, because it shouldnt really matter right? You broke up with him, and you said you dont like him anymore. I understand its a friend ship, but if he doesnt want to talk to you, then you should accept that and move on.

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